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Title: Gamler's Latin
Author: Jess <annexw@hotmail.com>
Rating: PG
Summary: Who knew learning Latin could be dangerous?

Prologue

Bri shut the tap off and listened to the sounds coming from her front room. She wrinkled her brow and finished brushing her teeth quickly.

Crossing to her laptop, Bri checked her DSL line, it had sync and was functioning. It was her Instant Messenger that was demanding her attention. She sat down, frowning at whom ever who need her attention at…her eyes flicked to the VCR clock, 5:00am.

She clicked in to the dialogue box and typed:

Shire University Instant Messenger: 1 Contact on-line

Bri Says::: Yes?

Gaz Says: Why do you need the Gamler text?

Bri Says::: Hello, I’m fine. How are you?

Gaz Says: You are accessing the text I need.

Bri Says::: Isn’t being rude against the British code of conduct?

Gaz Says: Only to other Brits, you do not count.

Bri Says::: I’m offended; I might switch over to my dial-in connection to teach you a lesson.

Gaz Says: Please!!!! L I need the text for my thesis.

Bri Says::: And I need it for mine. You can access it tomorrow…tonight….when ever the hell six hours is from now.

Gaz Says: I have to turn in my thesis for final approval in four hours.

Bri Says::: I’m not going to fall behind in my research because you didn’t plan ahead.

Gaz Says: I did plan! I figured no one would be rummaging through the archives at this hour in the morning…evening…

Gaz Says: All of which is beside the point since you are not due to even start writing your thesis for another 2 years. Heaven save us from over achievers.

Bri Says::: I’m ignoring that last comment and pointing out the fact that you didn’t access Gamler until the day your first draft is due points to a severe lack of planning that I don’t want to facilitate.

Gaz Says: Allowing the colonies to access our private reserve libraries was a large error on our part.

Bri Says::: and what twisted part of you thinks that insulting my country will get you the text any earlier?

Gaz Says: Strictly speaking, I was insulting my country.

Bri Says: Good-bye Gaz .

Gaz Says: No! Please. ::pleads:: I need the text.

Bri Says: Why do you need a 14^th century author for your thesis? I thought you were concentrating scholarship?

Gaz Says: Everyone knows that Gamler was a nutter. He fills out my section on weeding out scholarship of needless idioticey.

Bri Says: And now you’ve managed to insult my primary source in proving folktales are based in reality.

Gaz Says: Be a dear, give me access for three hours, I’ll have the document, then you can go back to your crackpot theories in peace.

Bri Says: No.

Gaz Says: This is * not * an unreasonable request.

Bri Says: Yes it is! I have the documents! I am downloading them now, and since only one of us can access them a time, I have priority. I would appreciate it if you got off my back about it.

Gaz Says: You are beating a dead horse with an equally dead argument! Gamler tried and failed in the 14^th century. Let one of our academic careers have a chance.

Bri Says: Right now you have as much chance of accessing the text as the Queen has of regaining control over the USA.

Gaz Says: I promise to send you every other document I come across in your ::shutter:: field.

Bri Says:: How many times can I say no before you get it through your thick imperial head?

Gaz Says: My country fought a hundred year war to have the right to worship goats. I have that sort of patience.

Bri Says:: ::snicker:: Goats?

Gaz Says: I didn’t really pay attention during that class, but the principle is the same.

Bri Says:: Waiting till four hours before your paper was due to gather sources, what kind of sturdy English planning is that?

Gaz Says: You now have reminded me why the general English populace was not that upset about your secession from the commonwealth.

Bri Says:: Damn, if you’re going to insult my country, at least get the right one.

Gaz Says: :blinks in confusion:

Bri Says:: I’m Canadian, mate. We still are part of the commonwealth. Do you research…wait, you’re morally against that aren’t you?

Gaz Says: Bleeding hell. How about a trade?

Bri Says:: ::looks interested::

Gaz Says: I’ll give you a shiny new pence?

Bri Says:: ::yawns::

Gaz Says: Original of Beowulf?

Bri Says:: You’re going to give me an original of an oral folk story?

Gaz Says: Saw right through my pitiful disguise, you did.

Bri Says:: You got anything besides pithy sayings to offer up?

Gaz Says: My charming good looks?

Bri Says:: Try again.

Gaz Says: Second edition Brothers Grimm?

Bri Says:: ::thinks::

Gaz Says: ::waits::

Bri Says:: Nope.

Gaz Says: ARGHHH!!!!!

Bri Says: Sorry, I need Gamler jus as much as you do.

Gaz Says: You are cruel and sadistic.

Bri Says: Thanks. ::grin::

Gaz Says: I have one more proposal.

Bri Says: Better then the last two?

Gaz Says: A place in the Historical Document conference.

Bri Says: You save this till the last! What kind of idiot are you?

Gaz Says: ::looks puzzled:: There are different kinds?

Bri Says: Where and how?

Gaz Says: Here, and I chair the undergrad committee. They wanted a few outsiders it make it all look appropriate and on the up and up.

Bri Says:: Who pays?

Gaz Says: Your University and mine. You might even get an allowance.

Bri Says:: Send documentation and the text is yours on receipt.

Gaz Says: You don’t trust me?

Bri Says:: I don’t trust anyone who calls soccer football.

Gaz Says: check your e-mail.

Bri Says:: BRB

Bri Says:: If this is a forge, so help me, I will sign you up for very embarrassing list there is and have them forwarded to your monitored university account.

Gaz Says: Its genuine. Release Gamler?

Bri Says:: L It’s all yours. Have fun killing a valid field.

Gaz Says: You’re a saint…. one that has to bribed, but that’s not the point is it?

Bri Says:: I’ll see you at conference?

Gaz Says: Yep. We will actually meet. Face to face instead of monitor to monitor.

Bri Says:: Scary. What if you’re ugly?

Gaz Says: what if you are?

Bri Says:: ::sticks out tongue:: Shouldn’t you be destroying my life’s work?

Gaz Says: You’re 19. You don’t have a life yet.

Bri Says:: Same to you brain boy.

Gaz Says: Just two geniuses trying to make it in the cutthroat world of academics.

Bri Says:: J I’ll catch you soon. Good luck on the thesis.

Gaz Says: You too. Thanks.

Bri Says:: Not like I didn’t make you earn it.

Gaz Says: Well said.

Bri clicked out of the IM and wondered if Gaz was just pulling her leg to get the document or if she was really going to the conference. Re-opening her e-mail, she forwarded a copy of the letter to her department head and replied to the original sender, accepting the invitation. Even if Gaz did just con her out of her primary source, it would be interesting to see what the University would think of her being requested to go.

Bri scrolled through the rest of her e-mail and replied to those who would be mortally offended if she didn’t get back to them immediately.

She closed the browser and smiled a little. "I could be going to England!"

Then she did a little dance that was nothing even resembling lady like.

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